Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
