just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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