I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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