I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize