brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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