This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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