First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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