I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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