i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
