Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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