Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We have started to decorate penises.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
