Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
