Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
