I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
