you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
