is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
