Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize