yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
