There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
birth control should be required to get into college
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i think i just lost a toe
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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