Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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