well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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