??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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