I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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