That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Terrible idea I love it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
