shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
