I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's shark week go big or go home
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
