Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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