About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
