Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.