i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw