I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
