How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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