I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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