took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
