That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
