I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
