There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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