I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
