some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas