Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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  (918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God. http://tfl.nu/l6po
  Replies (20) Good night (8070) Bad night (915)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.

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  (732): FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket. http://tfl.nu/p1i6
  Replies (29) Good night (6625) Bad night (873)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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  (613): I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went. http://tfl.nu/jkvp
  Replies (14) Good night (5069) Bad night (1265)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3824) Bad night (1565)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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  (252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f
  Replies (18) Good night (1360) Bad night (4115)
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  (718): View more from New York

  knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.

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  (718): knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/4mi1
  Replies (5) Good night (1895) Bad night (1024)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (3110) Bad night (1034)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.

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  (414): Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gfee
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (1790)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?

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  (432): I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good? http://tfl.nu/n0mc
  Replies (12) Good night (896) Bad night (3967)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.

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  (254): Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn. http://tfl.nu/xdjy
  Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (1310)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.

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  (917): I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside. http://tfl.nu/ng1w
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (583)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"

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  (870): when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned" http://tfl.nu/0h81
  Replies (5) Good night (1364) Bad night (532)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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  (609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs
  Replies (11) Good night (1226) Bad night (486)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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  (708): I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING? (224): WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? http://tfl.nu/7enb
  Replies (11) Good night (1070) Bad night (527)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?

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  (513): Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/9zj7
  Replies (5) Good night (440) Bad night (401)

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