you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.