There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest