I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
