When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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