Swine flu. Run for my life!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
