You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
