I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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