You smell like stripper and shame
operation have a gay friend backfired
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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