glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
