I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
