Need sex. Gaining weight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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