College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
