I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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