she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
