My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
