her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
