I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
