1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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