the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
