literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's always time for handjobs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
