he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
