I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
