What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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