How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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