whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This baby is an asshole
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize